Toilet training

Mastering usage of the toilet is a major accomplishment in a young child's life. The process of toilet training runs more smoothly when children are both physically and emotionally ready, however.

Most children achieve daytime bladder control by age 3, and daytime bowel control even earlier. Girls are often able to control both the bowel and bladder sooner than boys. If your child isn't toilet-trained by this age, however, it doesn't necessarily indicate a problem. It's important to remember that each child is unique and physical maturity occurs at different times. In fact, in an otherwise healthy child, urinary incontinence that occurs at least twice a month during the day or night is typically not defined as a problem until age 5 or 6. (Encopresis, or chronic fecal soiling, is classified as a problem at age 4 or older.)

Patience, emotional readiness and timing are three key components to successful toilet training. Keep in mind that learning occupies much of a toddler's time -- and learning to use the toilet may simply not be a priority for some children. Some toddlers may rather spend their time learning other tasks, such as climbing, jumping, talking and running. A toddler who opposes toilet training today may be open to the idea in three to six months.


Is your child ready?
To determine if your child is ready for toilet training, ask yourself the following questions:
Can your child follow easy instructions?
Does your child stay dry for periods of two hours or longer during the day?
Does your child stay dry after nap time?
Does your child have regular and predictable bowel movements?
Is your child able to walk to and from the bathroom?
Can your child pull down his or her own pants and pull them up again?
Does your child appear uncomfortable when his or her diapers are wet or soiled?
Does your child want to wear underwear?
Does your child ask to use the potty chair or toilet?
Does your child have certain words, postures or facial expressions that precede elimination?
Is your child able to understand and communicate thoughts about using the toilet?
If you answered yes to most of these questions, you may want to start the process of toilet training. If you answered mostly no, you may want to wait awhile. The process will go more smoothly when your child is ready -- generally not before age 2. Starting too soon may even delay toilet training in the long run. It's also wise to wait if major changes in your child's life are on the way, such as a move or the arrival of a new baby.


Getting ready
If you've decided your child is ready for toilet training, you'll need a potty chair and training pants. It's also a good idea to keep favorite treats or stickers on hand for rewards.

Toilet training suggestions
Most importantly, try to be relaxed about toilet training to avoid frustration. Then, keep the following suggestions in mind:
Show your child what he or she needs to do in the bathroom. For example, boys often learn to urinate while sitting down and change later to standing.

Teach your child the words to be used for body parts, as well as urination and bowel movements.

Help your child become familiar with his or her body by knowing when he or she is urinating or having a bowel movement.

Dress your child in easy-to-remove clothing.

If your child informs you that he or she needs to go potty, help your child by removing clothing and placing him or her on the toilet for a couple of minutes. Remain with your child during this time. This may be a good opportunity to read your child books about potty training.

Have comfortable potty training equipment. Many toddlers prefer floor model potty chairs, which can also be safest. If you use a regular toilet, use an appropriately sized seat attachment and a stool so that your child can sit on the toilet without dangling his or her feet.

After four to five minutes, help your child get off the toilet. Or, remind your child he or she can try again later. Then, offer praise for sitting and trying.

Don't flush the toilet while your child is sitting on it.

Accept that accidents and near misses are normal and will happen.

Teach your child appropriate hygiene habits. For example, girls should wipe carefully from front to back, and everyone should wash their hands with soap and water after using the toilet.

Let your child have an active part in the training. Encourage him or her to make some of the decisions about how he or she wants to do it.

At first, you may opt to use diapers or disposable training pants during sleep. Remember, daytime control is typically obtained before nighttime control. To speed up nighttime control, take your child to the bathroom before going to bed.

Offer suggestions, not demands, and never force your child to sit on the toilet. Remember, resistance can mean your child is not ready.

Don't discipline your child for soiling his or her pants.

Maintain a sense of humor and positive attitude. Above all, be supportive and make learning fun.
If toilet training takes longer than two months, your child may not be ready. You may want to try again in a few weeks or months. Talk to your child's doctor if you have any concerns about toilet training.